Your Life Feeling Like Sh**t Might Be God's Mercy

I was contemplating life recently as I hiked up a mountain, and thought about how often my life just seems like a big load of sh**t. And I thought this very objectively and rationally (as odd as that may seem). Recent losses and circumstances have frustrated and depressed me. My current life is hardly what I had hoped it would be at this age. At the same time, certain blessings remain, such as plenty of food and a home, my Dad having a steady job, my parents being loving and gracious, my friends being committed, and being a Christian who has numerous spiritual blessings. Why wasn't I the queen of happiness? But I continued to have this overwhelming sense of my life's sh**tiness. 

And just then on the mountain, Paul popped into my mind. 

If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:4b-11)

The word Paul uses for all his accomplishments and privileges is σκύβαλα, which literally means sh**t. None of these earthly things are actually valuable compared to Christ and his gift of eternal life. If even the accomplishments or attainments that give us confidence Paul says are dung, how much more the failures? I can't really consider my life's sh**tiness as surprising and it's certainly not fun, but it does wake me up to the reality that nothing this world offers is as valuable as Christ and life in him. And maybe my feelings are part of a manifestation of God's tough love. Maybe I'm just beginning to see things as they really are. Whether successful and accomplished or just plugging along to survive, the value to life now is Christ and his goodness freely given to his people. 

I did not lose everything like Paul did, but I still grieved the losses I did experience and maybe I grieved them too much. To lose what you've put your hopes in, what you've relied on for fulfillment and confidence, can be a mercy of God in order to reveal the sh***tiness of those things but the surpassing worth of Christ and his kingdom, the coming new creation. The gospel reminds us of the true nature of things in this sin-cursed world. It doesn't hold back its punches. But neither does it hold back its glories of victory for you and me. Sin and all tainted with it is as ugly as dung, worth only to be thrown out. Our disgust gives us a taste of how God sees sin. Something extreme and radical had to be done to get rid of the dung and make us platinum. Christ accomplished this on the cross, a place of torture, numbered with people considered to be the refuse of humanity. But resurrected, he is king and honored and offers that same glory to all who will believe in him. 

I'm not saying there is nothing good in this world. The mountains I was hiking are evidence enough that goodness and beauty exist in this world. All I'm saying is that the result of my musings on what I considered to be disappointing and worthless about my life, is that God pushed me to see him better and to think more like Paul, "For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him."