The Traveling Pelican

This content is what I learned from taking a class on abuse a couple of weeks ago. I am sharing it here to help spread awareness and knowledge about abuse and the proper response to it.   Abuse is an epidemic in our society and the damage done can last a victim's entire life. One of the counter-intuitive aspects of abuse is that it makes the abuse victim feel like he/she is to blame. Abusers are masters at manipulation and blame-shifting. By treating their victim as if he/she was dirty, repulsive, disgraceful, and worthless, the victim often believes he/she really is dirty, repulsive, disgraceful, and worthless. Abuse victims also feel the effects of the huge burden of blame their abusers lay upon them. Therefore, the most important thing to say to an abuse victim is, your abuse is not your fault.  To the abuse victim, your abuse is not your fault.  Here's why:  Abusers know what they are doing and choose to do it. Abusers are often expert manipulators and know how to make thei

Narcissistic abuse is abuse carried out specifically by a narcissist or someone with a narcissist personality disorder. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a narcissist is "an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance." According to an article in Psychology Today, an abusive narcissist may feel shame at not living up to the ideal of himself he imagines, so he uses abuse as a form of defense or to prop himself up. I am not a therapist, a counselor, or an expert in narcissistic abuse, but I have seen first-hand the long-lasting mental and emotional damage a narcissist can inflict.  I will soon be taking a class on abuse and would like to share what I learn in a few blog posts, so I will write more about identifying this kind of abuse later. But first, here are 3 things narcissistic abuse destroys. A narcissist can be either male or female, but for the purposes of this article, I will use the example of a male narcissist in a relati