The Traveling Pelican

Narcissistic abuse is abuse carried out specifically by a narcissist or someone with a narcissist personality disorder. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a narcissist is "an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance." According to an article in Psychology Today, an abusive narcissist may feel shame at not living up to the ideal of himself he imagines, so he uses abuse as a form of defense or to prop himself up. I am not a therapist, a counselor, or an expert in narcissistic abuse, but I have seen first-hand the long-lasting mental and emotional damage a narcissist can inflict.  I will soon be taking a class on abuse and would like to share what I learn in a few blog posts, so I will write more about identifying this kind of abuse later. But first, here are 3 things narcissistic abuse destroys. A narcissist can be either male or female, but for the purposes of this article, I will use the example of a male narcissist in a relati

Are you feeling lost and the future is nothing but a dark void? Do you feel like your life is out of control? It's ok to be honest and say it. Say it to yourself and say it to God. Covid-19 has thrown all our lives into a black hole. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow.  I feel that. My life this year came to a full stop. One the one hand, a time of rest was a blessing. On the other hand, I felt lost and afraid of what would happen next. Thoughts such as will I get a job, where is God leading me, why has God allowed many of my friends to suffer, would I ever find a purpose, had God decided I was too much trouble and given up on me? I've never been brought to the edge of panic wondering if the threads of my life were going to unravel forever. The future felt like an impossibility (still does sometimes haha!).  As someone who studies the Bible for a living, you might think I would be immune from such fears. But knowledge, while a great blessing and help, does not take away

I was contemplating life recently as I hiked up a mountain, and thought about how often my life just seems like a big load of sh**t. And I thought this very objectively and rationally (as odd as that may seem). Recent losses and circumstances have frustrated and depressed me. My current life is hardly what I had hoped it would be at this age. At the same time, certain blessings remain, such as plenty of food and a home, my Dad having a steady job, my parents being loving and gracious, my friends being committed, and being a Christian who has numerous spiritual blessings. Why wasn't I the queen of happiness? But I continued to have this overwhelming sense of my life's sh**tiness.  And just then on the mountain, Paul popped into my mind.  If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the churc

I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121 This is an excerpt from my paper on Genesis 34 and 2 Samuel 11. The paper focuses on the stories of Dinah and Bathsheba and is my attempt to offer a sensitive exegesis of these passages for abuse survivors. This excerpt is the last section of my paper which focuses on God's character and the gospel of Jesus Christ in relation to the issue of abuse, both in the Bible and today.  God’s revelation throughout history discloses many aspects of God’s character. Especially comforting for abuse survivors is God's particular love for the afflicted and oppressed. Especially in the psalms, the psalmists describe God as a Helper and Comforter to the oppressed and downcast. The psalmist’s comfort in times of affliction springs from his knowledge of the character of God. "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who

If you've grown up going to church like I have, then you may have heard the story of Esther and Mordecai. It was easy for me as a girl to think of Esther as this great and courageous heroine, saving her people from genocide. And Esther was brave, but her courage did not come right away. A close reading of the text reveals Esther was at first afraid.  Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.” (Esth 4:10-11)   Her initial response to Mordecai's instruction to go to the king and beg for mercy was, "but if I do that I will die." Undoubtedly most of us, if put in her position, would say the same thing. My own life is often w

Are you feeling unloved or unnoticed? Are you silently hurting and it feels like it will go on forever? And maybe in the midst of this, you think to yourself, if only I could only be different, then I would be loved. Do you think that? There is a woman in the Bible who can sympathize. Her name is Leah and she was the unloved wife of Jacob. Sometimes we can read the Bible with rose-colored glasses, believing the patriarchs are these great men we should look up to. But the truth is, God didn’t choose men because they were great. And he didn’t choose women because they were beautiful or gifted. Consider the sisters Rachel and Leah. Rachel was beautiful and Jacob fell deeply in love with her (Genesis 29). Leah is Rachel’s older sister who the text describes as having weak eyes. Even though Laban tricked Jacob into marrying her before Rachel, he did not love her. Genesis 29 even says Leah was hated (v 31). What pain Leah must have been in, stuck in such a situation. Knowing her father had g