The Traveling Pelican

Are you feeling lost and the future is nothing but a dark void? Do you feel like your life is out of control? It's ok to be honest and say it. Say it to yourself and say it to God. Covid-19 has thrown all our lives into a black hole. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow.  I feel that. My life this year came to a full stop. One the one hand, a time of rest was a blessing. On the other hand, I felt lost and afraid of what would happen next. Thoughts such as will I get a job, where is God leading me, why has God allowed many of my friends to suffer, would I ever find a purpose, had God decided I was too much trouble and given up on me? I've never been brought to the edge of panic wondering if the threads of my life were going to unravel forever. The future felt like an impossibility (still does sometimes haha!).  As someone who studies the Bible for a living, you might think I would be immune from such fears. But knowledge, while a great blessing and help, does not take...

I was contemplating life recently as I hiked up a mountain, and thought about how often my life just seems like a big load of sh**t. And I thought this very objectively and rationally (as odd as that may seem). Recent losses and circumstances have frustrated and depressed me. My current life is hardly what I had hoped it would be at this age. At the same time, certain blessings remain, such as plenty of food and a home, my Dad having a steady job, my parents being loving and gracious, my friends being committed, and being a Christian who has numerous spiritual blessings. Why wasn't I the queen of happiness? But I continued to have this overwhelming sense of my life's sh**tiness.  And just then on the mountain, Paul popped into my mind.  If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the chur...

I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121 This is an excerpt from my paper on Genesis 34 and 2 Samuel 11. The paper focuses on the stories of Dinah and Bathsheba and is my attempt to offer a sensitive exegesis of these passages for abuse survivors. This excerpt is the last section of my paper which focuses on God's character and the gospel of Jesus Christ in relation to the issue of abuse, both in the Bible and today.  God’s revelation throughout history discloses many aspects of God’s character. Especially comforting for abuse survivors is God's particular love for the afflicted and oppressed. Especially in the psalms, the psalmists describe God as a Helper and Comforter to the oppressed and downcast. The psalmist’s comfort in times of affliction springs from his knowledge of the character of God. "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who ...

If you've grown up going to church like I have, then you may have heard the story of Esther and Mordecai. It was easy for me as a girl to think of Esther as this great and courageous heroine, saving her people from genocide. And Esther was brave, but her courage did not come right away. A close reading of the text reveals Esther was at first afraid.  Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.” (Esth 4:10-11)   Her initial response to Mordecai's instruction to go to the king and beg for mercy was, "but if I do that I will die." Undoubtedly most of us, if put in her position, would say the same thing. My own life is often w...

Are you feeling unloved or unnoticed? Are you silently hurting and it feels like it will go on forever? And maybe in the midst of this, you think to yourself, if only I could only be different, then I would be loved. Do you think that? There is a woman in the Bible who can sympathize. Her name is Leah and she was the unloved wife of Jacob. Sometimes we can read the Bible with rose-colored glasses, believing the patriarchs are these great men we should look up to. But the truth is, God didn’t choose men because they were great. And he didn’t choose women because they were beautiful or gifted. Consider the sisters Rachel and Leah. Rachel was beautiful and Jacob fell deeply in love with her (Genesis 29). Leah is Rachel’s older sister who the text describes as having weak eyes. Even though Laban tricked Jacob into marrying her before Rachel, he did not love her. Genesis 29 even says Leah was hated (v 31). What pain Leah must have been in, stuck in such a situation. Knowing her father had g...

Dear E, Most people get around this island by taking Ojek's or motorcycle taxis. Super fun! We took a taxi every time we went to the office, or anywhere really. The ride to the beach was just beautiful. long stretches of green jungle, nice views of the ocean, and some fun times navigating the bit that wasn't paved :p. Also, the car taxi we took to the airport was themed! I guess the driver really likes Tazz?? It's been a crazy week. Too much happened for one post so I'll have to write two. We got back to Ambon Monday (this) evening. I looked at the calendar today and was shocked to realize it's already February 17! This last week we were in Saumlaki, south Indonesia. It was HOT there! Oh my goodness it was like being in an oven. Everything I wore out to work or dinner I had to wash asap. Overall, I did enjoy my time in Saumlaki. Despite spending the first two days in bed sick with a horrible sore throat, the rest of the time was quite interesting. S knows ...

Dear E, Masha and Anya just launched their business Golubee! I'm so excited for them and think their products are so cute! Check it out and share with your friends 😊 https://golubee.com/ ❤️

We've made it to Saumlaki, a village on Yamdena Island. Today at S's work, I was asked to share a little bit about myself. The team here is really sweet. All of the team are Saumlaki locals and have been very welcoming to me. After I shared about myself a bit, they presented me with a gift that represents their Yamdena identity (some colored cloth) as a token of our kinship in the faith. I have been very blessed by the affection of these people. I don't have a ton of pictures but here's what I have so far. The first couple are from our trip leaving Ambon. The rest are from Saumlaki. My room in Saumlaki. You can't really see it well, but it's pouring outside. The rain here is crazy. There are a few more pictures on Instagram. The wifi here is not great so this will probably be my only post until we return to Ambon.

Dear E, I’ve decided that eating the fruit here in Indonesia is like experiencing the world in color for the first time. All the mangoes and pineapples and papayas back home are black and white compared to these. Breakfast has been granola and yogurt and fruit and I could eat this every morning. The past couple of days I’ve been sitting in on my friend’s work. I won’t talk about the details here, but so far it is pretty interesting. There was a delay the first day so we’re behind which make for long full days. Still, it is good to see someone who has never heard from the book of life reading getting exposed to it. There are only 2000 people who speak this language but soon they will have the completed second half of the book in their language.  Life here is hard for the people. Despite the country being rich in resources, there are still islands that are very poor, especially the remote villages. The village people we are working with are ancestor-worshipping animists. We ar...

Dear E, The fruit in Indonesia is incredibly good. I can't stop eating it. If I lived here I'd probably become a fruitarian. The mango is unlike any mango I've ever had in California, mangosteen (purple and round-ish) was not at all what I thought it would be like but it's delicious, and then there's Rambuton (red and spikey), or hairy fruit, because it looks like it has hair. rambuton tastes a bit like a large grape to me.  The trip here took three days and three flights. Needless to say, both my friend and I were exhausted when we arrived. Also, because of the coronovirus outbreak, most people were wearing masks on the flight and I did end up wearing one for all three flights. I have to say I was happy to wear one even though I probably looked post-apocalyptic.  Japan Airlines was an awesome company to fly with though. We had great food on the flight (they included ice cream!) and some unexpected ramen during our layover in Tokyo. Does having ramen in ...